booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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