I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
