Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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