he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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