I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
