I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
