Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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