She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
