all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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