ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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