I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
