Where is the hickey?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
