based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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