Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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