remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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