'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ttyl tear gas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
