i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
