but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
