Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
