im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize