Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
