He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
