ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found the puke drawer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
