he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
