Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
