Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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