She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
