Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
