ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
