Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
