i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
