We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
