Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
