We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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