i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
