Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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