FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
