Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
