I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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