If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
