ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
