would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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