ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
