he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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