this just has baby written all over it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
