Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize