So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize