I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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