How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
