Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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