Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
