I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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