Jerry, you need to find god
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
