Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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