Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
