i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
