HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
