She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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