he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
