And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
