She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
