I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize