talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
