her vagine was all disorganized.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
