Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
