if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize