She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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