His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
